Flatulence: What are your most heroic tales of breaking wind?

My most heroic tale of breaking wind certainly comes to mind when I think back on a particularly embarrassing moment. It was the summer after I graduated high school, and I had been invited to go out with some friends to the lake. After spending all day in the sun, we decided to take a break and eat lunch at a nearby picnic area.

It was while sitting around this spot that my stomach began grumbling rather loudly due to all of the greasy fast food that I had consumed throughout the day. To make matters worse, as each second passed by, my intestinal gas increased exponentially. In an effort not to embarrass myself any further, I thought it best if I excused myself for a few moments in order to “stretch” my legs - only it was much more than just stretching!

I scrambled from our group's location and quickly made my way down one of the wooded trails that lined near trail side area until arriving at what seemed like an adequate distance from everybody else enjoying their afternoon meal. Then with no warning whatsoever (and still clothed in shame) came nature's call: A thunderous blast of methane-enriched goodness! That's right; this guy let 'er rip! Things were silent again...for about 30 seconds anyway before out loud giggles began radiating throughout our picnic space followed by comments such as “Where did that sound come from?!?”

Feeling embarrassed yet triumphant nonetheless, I trudged back up the trail and rejoined everyone else without saying so much as something along lines such as "Someone must have left some fireworks behind." My face may have been flush with embarrassment but inside - Oh yes! Inside there lay nothing but pride over having survived every flatulist’s worst nightmare unscathed; victorious even!